This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
