I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
