The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My balls are so social today.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
