i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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