he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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