He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
