it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize