There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So. Much. Porn.
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