i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
