she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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