You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
