I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize