I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
