I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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