My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
