so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
