I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
