not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dignity is for republicans.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
