The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
