What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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