she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
