The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
