His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
