I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
