Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
