I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
