i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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