This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think my vagina is haunted
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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