i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
