He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
