In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
