Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
