i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
