I'm gonna have a badass scar
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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