What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
