I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This house was built for laser tag.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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