My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
