I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
