He uses pillows to masturbate.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Randomize
