I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
