people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize