Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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