We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I had to cum in my sink.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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