Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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