My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
