You made me cry and you don't even care
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
