Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
