Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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