I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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