so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
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