i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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