College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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