My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
last night I used snow as a chaser
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
