problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
