You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
