I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize