im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize