first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
