Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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