did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
that is very illegal...i love you.
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