Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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