tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
