Four minutes until I can fart!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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