She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
