i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
