Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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