I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
