people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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