but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
