That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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