i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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